Indians, alligators and 'Hidden Florida' at last

Naples, Sunday 1 March

After an hour trying to sleep with the thumping music downstairs and across the street, I creep along the corridor in my shorts and t shirt to a quieter room, where I am in the land of nod almost as soon as my head has hit the pillow.
Almost as soon as I have said 'white rabbits', I am on my way for the 100 mile drive to the Billie Swamp Safari at the Big Cypress Seminole Reservation.
For the first time in over two weeks, I actually enjoy the drive. The I75 across 'Alligator Alley' to Fort Lauderdale has a very nice surface, there's not one of the hideous billboards that have plagued me for a fortnight. The road runs through some absolutely delightful and unspoiled natural countryside. There's a toll of $2.50, but it's a small price to pay for such an excellent road.
There's a BBC World Service documentary on my Sirius satellite radio about child preachers, featuring an 11 year old in Miami, who has been ordained since he was 6. My former BBC colleague, Christopher Morris, seems quite bemused by it all. It could only happen here.
The 30 minute drive north to the reservation itself is a sheer delight. It's a single lane road which twists and turns through totally unspoiled countryside. As it's still before 9am, there's not another soul in sight, apart from an occasional fisherman.
I am booked onto an airboat tour, which is incredible. Effectively, a huge aeroplane propeller thrusts these lightweight boats at breakneck speed through the Everglades. Our pilot is the very experienced Glenn Wilsey, who has featured on TV actually swimming with alligators. As we stop to see the creatures close up, he tells us not to do the same and teaches us, in his words, 'more of the real story in 5 minutes than we can learn in a lifetime'.
Another boat stops to feed some pigs, one of which is immediately, in a flash, attacked by a 'gator and has to be beaten off. Amazing.
Apparently they are very good eating and low in cholesterol. The 'gators, not the pigs!
Cathy is my driver for a fascinating drive in a 'swamp buggy', through the mangroves. it's dry season, so the water level is down by 3 or 4 feet, but we seen more wildlife in an hour than I have seen in several years. From ostrich, bison, buffalo and raccoons to vultures, Scottish red deer and much more. Last night Cathy even saw a panther. There's a Seminole village of Chickees, their word for homes. By building their homes on stilts, the local adapted to their surroundings much better than the white man, which is one reason the Seminole tribe was able to survive. Chickees are designed to let the smoke of a campfire out of the sides, rather than the top, which has the effect of disseminating the smoke and smell and thus not giving away the location.
Cathy is great fun, and responds with gusto to a load of cub scouts from Pack 183, among some 1500 who have been camping on the reservation this weekend.
There are a lot of fallen trees, victims of Hurricane Wilma which passed right through here in the Autumn of 2005.
One guest asks what 'the large pestle and mortar is used for'. Cathy asks what he means. 'The stick in the hole', says the man. It's for grinding corn.
Soon after, I watch a local man 'wrestling' with an alligator. It's really a way of bringing them under control, but quite scary even to watch. He's apparently been doing this since he was 7!
For this special weekend, there are battle re-enactments between the Americans and the Seminoles. I am particularly impressed with the colourful costumes of the Indians and watch as the rituals of preparing for war are completed.
Thereafter, amid much bangs of guns and whooping, the battle itself takes place. Most impressive, leading to a victory for the Seminoles who, historically, were never defeated. Now I wonder how many American children know that?
Back at my hotel, the Naples Patriotic Society have a late afternoon session with some nice jazz music underneath my window. They end with the Star Spangled Banner. It's the first time in over two weeks I have seen the ever-present baseball caps being removed.

Caladesi Island, possibly as hidden as I'll find in Florida

Caladesi Island State Park, Sunday



I have taken the opportunity to sort out my suitcases. A week into the trip and you can imagine that very few things are where they should be. Inside both, I discover little cards from the Transportation Security Administration. After scanning at Pensacola Airport, they had hand searched both items of my checked in luggage. Not surprising really, I carry more electronic gadgetry with me than Comet has! I had been advised to leave them unlocked. Just as well, because I am told they would simply break them otherwise!
I have an early start, before Sunday breakfast is normally ready for guests at the Pasa Tiempo. But lovely Lotta, the Swedish 'innkeeper' at Pasa Tiempo has prepared a really lovely meal tray for me.
I've been reading the manuals for my Hertz 'Never Lost' and my very upmarket Mercury Sable Car. All my destinations are now carried on a 'Tourism Malaysia' USB pen drive. Having copied them from my laptop. The pen drive just slots into the side of the GPS and, hey presto, it tells me where to go.
It's almost an hour's drive to the Caladesi Island State Park along some of the ghastliest roads I've ever seen. Imagine a twenty mile long tacky seafront, huge advertising hoardings at every angle and level, with a three lane motorway thundering past. One advert proclaims. Doug Stein MD. No scalpel. No needle. 16000 circumcisions completed. True!
The contrast between the vulgarity of the road and the tranquility of the Caladesi and Honeymoon State Parks could not be more acute.
The islands were once connected. Honeymoon is now driveable via a causeway and after paying the $5 entry charge, those people wanting to get to Caladesi, pay another $10 for a 15 minute boat trip. (A sand bar has actually built up in recent years between Clearwater and Caladesi, so you could actually walk to the island, but Americans much prefer a 20 mile road trip!)
My host for the day is Park Ranger Carl Calhoun, who came for a couple of years and stayed for 27. As such, he probably knows more about the State Park than anyone else. He's northern Irish by descent and quite a character. Outside his office, we meet one of the Park volunteers, a guy with a plaited beard, the like of which I have never seen. He's parked his boat at the dock for free and is working a few hours each week to pay off his rent.
Just before Carl takes me out in a kayak, he shows me a skin from a rattlesnake. an eight feet long diamond back, to be exact. And, yes, they, and various other very poisonous snakes hang out on the island. It's a historic place. There are native American burial mounds going back some two thousand years. American history post Columbus? A mere bagatelle!
The kayak trail takes us round the mangroves. No alligators, who only lurk in freshwater and, thankfully, no snakes. But it's a delightful trip and I feel privileged to have had Carl as my guide.
After an excellent lunch at the one simple cafe that is allowed to operate, Carl takes me on an absolutely amazing tour of the one mile square land part of Caledesi. We see a pair of Ospreys building a nest, wild bees nests, pelican, heron, an armadillo, sanderlings, enormous horseshoe crabs and the very British sounding Ruddy turn stone. Carl reckons that, over a year, you can see some 300 varieties of bird on the island. I can believe it.
He's been very generous with his time and I have had an absolutely brilliant day.
Caladesi, with its' 200,000 visitors a year (only a few hundred today) is a very special place indeed.
I am sure they wanted me to tell you that its' beach was voted 'Best Beach in America', 2008. The beach is certainly unspoilt, very charming and totally natural.
But best? I have seen better and I have only been in Florida for a week!